partyrhino.ca/en/candidats/blake-hamilton www.partyrhino.ca/en/candidats/blake-hamilton
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Affordability & Childcare
Canada Child Benefit
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Canada Workers Benefit
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Cell & Internet Bills
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Childcare
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Employment Insurance
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Food & Nutrition
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GST
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Guaranteed Livable Income
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Living in the North
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Minimum Wage
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People with Disabilities
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Climate Change & the Environment
Carbon Capture & Storage
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1) To promote carpooling, we will make sure that the brake pedal is now installed on the passenger side of all vehicles.
2) Green cars are not available in sufficient numbers in Canada. This is why a Rhinoceros Government will force car manufacturers to build more green cars: forest green, pale green, khaki green and neon green.
3) Scientists predict that in the next 20 years, global climate change will threaten the very existence of humanity itself. We can do better! A Rhinoceros Government promises to make it happen in 10 years!
4) We will bribe all Weather Network presenters to announce only sun on Sundays, and less snow in the winter.
5) Use global warming to Canada's advantage, making the country more temperate, shortening winters, and thus create a new thriving agriculture industry in our northern territories.
6) Transport oil and gas in blimps instead of pipelines.
Carbon Pricing
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Effects of Climate Change
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Emissions Reductions Targets
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Energy Efficient Buildings
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Energy Grid
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Energy Sources
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Fossil Fuel Subsidies
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Green Innovation
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Industrial Carbon Emissions
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Low-Carbon Manufacturing
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Natural Gas & LNG
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Project Impact Assessments
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Shipping & Marine Protection
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Waste
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Wildfires
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Education
Apprenticeship
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Job Training
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1) Replace teachers on leave with photos of famous scientists.
2) Provide higher education by building taller schools.
3) Mandate the acceptance of Monopoly money as legal tender for the repayment of all student loans.
Post-Secondary Tuition
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Health & Healthcare
Access to Abortion
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COVID Testing
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COVID Vaccination
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Future Pandemics
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1) We will reduce congestion in hospital emergency rooms by eliminating waiting areas entirely.
2) To counter the chronic shortage of doctors and nurses across the country, we will provide steroids to all current ones in order to increase their performance.
3) We will allocate funds for the development of a vaccine to protect future generations from traveller’s diarrhea.
4) Promote fitness among Senators and Members of Parliament by having them cross the floor daily.
Health Funding
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Medical Assistance in Dying
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Palliative Care
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Pharmacare
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Review of COVID Response
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Housing & Homelessness
Homelessness
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Housing Prices
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Housing Supply
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Money Laundering
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Mortgages
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Human Rights & Equality
Conversion Therapy
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Data Privacy
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1) To help victims of identity theft, we are committed to providing a new name and a new date of birth to citizens who request it.
2) To ensure the safety of our children, we will require that the first names of all newborns be at least twelve (12) characters long, including a capital letter, a number, and a special symbol [ ! @ # ? etc.]
Gender Equity
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Hate Crimes & Hate Speech
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The Blood Ban
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Indigenous Relations & Reconciliation
Drinking Water
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Indigenous Broadband
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Indigenous Businesses
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Mental Health
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Natural Resources Development
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Residential Schools
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Self-Determination
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Jobs & the Economy
Agriculture
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Airlines
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Canada Emergency Wage Subsidy
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Charities and Non-Profits
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Competition
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Construction Work
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Credit Card Fees
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Employee Ownership
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Entrepreneurship
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Hospitality and Tourism
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Innovation
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International Trade
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Internships
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Interprovincial Trade
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Investment
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Manufacturing
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News Media & Journalism
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Northern Economy
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Parental Leave
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Part-Time, Contract, & Gig Workers
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Pensions
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Regulation
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Scientific Research & Exp. Dev
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Sick Leave
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Small Businesses
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Steel & Aluminum
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Supply Management
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Tax Evasion
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1) Open new tax havens in all provinces and territories across Canada, thereby keeping foreign funds local and thus contributing billions of extra dollars to our eventual post-pandemic economic recovery.
2) By 2022, complete the full privatization of the Senate initiated by previous governments.
3) Bring in additional revenue by allowing corporate advertising in the both the Senate and the House of Commons.
4) Change Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it can be inflated or deflated at will.
5) Change the value of the quarter to thirty cents, thereby increasing the income of taxpayers by 16%!
6) Take Canada off the gold standard, opting instead to use a snow standard.
Taxation
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Tech Giants
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Unions & Worker Control
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Mental Health, Drugs, & Addiction
Addiction & the Opioid Crisis
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Mental Health Coverage
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Mental Health Services
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Miscarriages & Stillbirth
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International Relations
China
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Human Rights
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India
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International Development
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Iran
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Israel & Palestine
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La Francaphonie
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Religious Freedom
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Ukraine
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United Nations
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Immigration & Refugees
Administrative Backlogs
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Credential Recognition
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Family Reunification
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Immigration Process
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Refugees
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Temporary Foreign Workers
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Visas
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Seniors & Senior Care
Aging in Place
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Long-Term Care
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Senior Women
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Transit & Transportation
Transit Investment
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Zero-Emission Vehicles
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Infrastructure
Infrastructure Blockades
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Infrastructure Funding
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Internet Infrastructure
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Municipal Proposals
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Northern Infrastructure
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Small Craft Harbours
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Trans-Canada Trail
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Natural Resources & Extraction
Aquaculture
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Fisheries
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Forestry
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Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG)
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Mining
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Off-Shore Oil
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Pipelines
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Public Safety & Policing
Domestic Violence
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Gang Violence
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Gun Violence
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Human Trafficking
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Security Infrastructure
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Enjeux divers
Accessibility
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Adoption
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Broadcasting & Streaming
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CBC & Radio-Canada
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Canada Post
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Canadian Heritage
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1) Make “Sorry” the new official motto of Canada.
2) Nationalize bacon.
3) To create a more egalitarian Canada, maps will be redrawn so that all provinces and territories are rectangular like Saskatchewan.
4) Make illiteracy the third official language of Canada.
5) In order to be closer to the centre of the country, move the national capital from Ottawa to Kapuskasing, Ontario*.
*Or, alternatively, to Baker Lake, Nunavut -- just 40 kilometres from the exact geographic centre of Canada.
Financial Advice & Institutions
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Government Ethics & Lobbying
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Government Services
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Government Transparency
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Northern Devolution
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Public Service
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Right-to-Repair
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Biographie
Our current system is horribly broken. Utterly dysfunctional and hobbled by hyper-partisanship and inherent structural flaws in our electoral process. The big parties serve themselves now more than they serve us. Playing us like puppets while they consolidate more and more unchecked power. They are out of touch and no longer truly represent us.
I'm also tired of strategic voting as an alternative: having to hold my nose and vote for a party I don't like, in order to stop another party I like even less from getting elected. That's not why and how we should vote. Defeats the very purpose of democracy and the true will of the people.
Enough is enough. No more.
I’d rather run satirically to decry this absurd joke than to enable it any more.
I want another option. So do others. Instead of spoiling their ballots or just not voting at all.
At least we Rhinos are honest enough to call out this craziness, and to never make any false promises for the sake of getting elected. Quite the opposite: our only real, solemn promise is to never keep any of the promises we make if elected. That's pure honesty right there, without agenda or ulterior motive. We're the champions of truth, wrapped in a cloak of gleeful hilarity.
So send all the clowns in the House a message -- better to vote for us real clowns than it is to vote for them. Because humour is always better than anger or apathy.
Raison de la candidature
partyrhino.ca/en/candidats/blake-hamilton www.partyrhino.ca/en/candidats/blake-hamilton